one year down

How time seems to evade me. It slips through my fingers like the tides receding. There. Visible. Elusive. Now it is nearly half way through the summer and I am finding myself sitting in nostalgia. I miss my sisters dearly. Their smiles at meetings, coffee dates, sunken garden picnics. Soon begins my internet purge, my off-the-grid detox. Being a freshman RA, panhell makes sure to avoid dirty rushing by making sure the little ones cannot associate me with any single greek organization. Being the first authority figure these kids will see, my likes and dislikes will influence them. I know my orientation aid seemed like the coolest, and I wanted nothing more than to join any club and do anything with her. That new feeling can be overwhelming and can seem like the right idea in the moment, but rushing isn't just about joining a greek organization. Its about finding your family. Its about finding sisters.

I yearn to be back on campus, and miss the familiar faces of my sisters on campus. But I am still faced with a double edged sword. I miss them and I am on limited contact. Meaning my Facebook and all links to my chapter have been hidden away from the upcoming class of 2016, and with that my photos, my links, and my life have been hidden away from the world.

Being a freshman RA is great because I get to be on campus all the sooner, yet I will not be able to associate with my sisterhood until bid day.It reminds me so much of where I was a year ago today. I remember rushing and my clue week and initiation. It brings so much joy to my heart knowing it will be in my grasp soon enough. But it seems so far off, until September when I can wear my letters and post pictures to my wall. But soon enough the little ones will start their freshman transition and learn who their roommates are going to be. It truly is exciting. Soon these potential new members will be pledging. It makes me miss being home so much more. I am already planning my future little's clue week, and see sisterhood wherever I look. I find myself blessed to be part of William and Mary greek life. I just want to be back on campus so badly. :)

fate has a funny way of reviling herself.

Who would have thought that sisterhood would come to redefine my life. My family lived always on the move. With the change in tides and a new port to call home, the navy was the trade winds to my life filling my sails directing me to my next destination. It was rough to have to pick up my roots every two years and say my goodbyes to my closest friends. I can promise you that it got old, pretty quickly. But you learn to adapt. You learn to love quickly, and realize you forget slowly, making each move harder and harder as your friends age in a life parallel to your own, but many hundreds of miles away. The longest I have ever lived anywhere consecutively is three years. And with the constant change of scenery the one thing I valued most was my family. They were my constant foundation through every step of my journey. 

I grew up with two siblings, one brother and one sister, both younger than I – my little sister being three years younger, and my brother nearly nine. To my siblings I was the oldest, and was ideally, the one they looked up to –though not always the case.  My sister and I would fight over the little things. She would steal my clothes; I would pester her to bring about a certain response. Together we were a chemical explosion; made up of two reactive elements ready to catalyze a reaction at any moment. The bickering seemed incessant, but at the same time, absolutely necessary. None of the actual arguments were that of malice, but simply out of innocent intentions. Yet deep down we were both afraid to mention the thought of my leaving and going to college. The dynamic would be very different without my family and my foundation within arms reach. 

 College was exciting. I had always been the new kid every time I moved, so I thrived in this atmosphere. I could handle the newness of campus. I missed my family, but I was already very used to being without familiar faces. It is like having tinnitus, with the constant ringing in your ears shouting out to you saying, “Hey kiddo, you’re on your own”. William and Mary truly was the perfect fit for me, but I felt something missing. I loved my dorm, the girls I met in my orientation were each so beautiful in different ways, but I felt a little distanced from them. Yes they were my friends, but I hardly knew anything about them. College is a great place to meet lots of people, but the depth of how well you know them can vary. I felt stuck in the shallow end of the pool.

Lets be very honest for a second. Before college, I cringed at the thought of going Greek. I even refused to sign up for rush because I was convinced it was not for me. Its crazy sometimes how fate turns out differently than you would expect. Within the first week of school, my campus was evacuated because of hurricane Irene. My roommate, and two girls from my hall were without evacuation plans so they all spent the weekend with me. Granted we never became best friends, but you really learn a lot about a person when you lose electricity for days on end. Rush was a constant conversation topic. They seemed so excited and couldn’t wait for it to start. The allure was so mysterious to me. I couldn’t understand why they were so excited. Yet I wanted to become closer friends with them because I knew that deeper relationships with people around me was what I craved. So I willingly signed up to try to spend more time with the girls on my hall. I was so caught up in the stereotype of the plastic girls in the movies. How I was wrong. How I would soon realize it was be the single smartest thing I ever did. 

sisterhood |ˈsistərˌho͝od|

sisterhood |ˈsistərˌho͝od|noun1 the relationship between sisters.• the feeling of kinship with and closeness to a group of women or all women.